Attunement exercise: observe an object for a stretched period of time.
20 seconds is stretched enough for my attention span. It’s also how much time I have before I crash into sleep.
I lock my eyes on the tulip-shaped Edison bulb on my nightstand. This is the same object my son likes to stare at. It softens the room in an orange hue, ready for sleepy time. Without my glasses correcting my vision, I see things in a blur, which must be similar to how my son perceived things for a while.
Through the exposed glass (our house is not child-proofed at all yet), the electric wire forms
the letter C.
The first letter of my father’s name.
I feel so much more compassion for him now. Immediately after birthing a boy, the things that seemed unfixable between us feel fixable. What gift.